The Bachelorette recap: Becca hits the hometown home stretch

Last we left our conch-crazed Minnesotan, she was saying goodbye to my boyfriend Wills and some guy with long hair. Sorry Leo, but I think you were as surprised as we were that you lasted that long. Now we’re at that time honored Bach Nation tradition . . . Hometowns!

We start in Manteca, California, which is Garrett’s hometown. Becca does her patented four limb pounce in her cute romper. His family owns an agricultural business and he’s going to put her to work tomato farming.

They hop on a tractor and I’m pretty sure this “medical sales rep” hasn’t seen one of these in years, right? They make out as he drives the tractor. This feels like a Nicholas Sparks novel come to life.

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They plant roses together to represent their relationship. If this goes south, I think he’ll be running over this rose bush with that tractor in no time.

Beca and Garrett have a little farm picnic together. Becca mines for her favorite thing: deep dark pain. Garrett rehashes how his ex-wife tried to put a wedge between his family and him.

Garrett says that their values no longer aligned, and he finally ended things. Becca wonders if their values align and he assures her they do, but at the time of filming, she didn’t know about his Instagram likes.

Becca wants to prove that she’s nothing like Garrett’s ex

Garrett and Becca walk into a room of skeptical people who put on a happy face when she arrives. First up, Garrett’s big sister pulls him away for a chat. She’s protective and worried he’ll be hurt again. She gets emotional and dramatic and high pitched.

Becca sits down with Garrett’s dad. He doesn’t want to see Garrett heartbroken all over again. She worries that he’s not ready for an engagement, but his dad assures her that he will be.

Becca’s interview with Mother Bear

However, he doesn’t want her to string him along if she has doubts. He describes his wife as a Mother Bear.

Mother Bear sits down with Becca. She says Garrett has come out of the dark hole that was his divorce. Becca assures her how seriously she’s taking this.

Garrett is the only one who has been divorced and she’s been engaged — they both know how important this process could be.

Mother Bear interviews that she needs to find out if Garrett is going to be okay if this doesn’t go his way. She sits down with him and watches his face break into that goofy grin. He assures her that he’s going to be okay this time. Garrett gets his family’s blessing and Becca thinks it’s all falling into place! But we’ve still got three more hometown visits ahead of us.

The Zamboni of love

Next up, Jason is in Buffalo, New York. He may or may not be a spokesperson for the city. They head to a famous bar where the chicken wing was invented. Thank you for your service, Buffalo bar. There is a wing eating contest and Becca gamely participates. We finally see a date where food is consumed!

Jason and Becca go to a hockey rink to ice skate. I’m surprised to learn that for someone with such a perfect smile, hockey was Jason’s life for years. Becca is from Minnesota so she was born to be a hockey mom. This could be a good match.

Becca and Jason make-out on the ice. I think she purposely loses their game so that she can “owe” him a kiss. We know she loves kissing Jason. They ride the Zamboni and make-out on top, probably fulfilling one of Jason’s bucket list items. What’s with Becca kissing aboard very slow moving vehicles in this episode?

From hot wings to burning questions from Jason’s fam

Next, they meet his parents, brother, and brother-in-law. Jason shares in interview how he’s lived a very guarded life when it comes to love, but he needs Becca to know how he feels. Jason’s dad pulls him aside. He has reservations as a parent because he doesn’t want Jason’s heart to be broken.

Becca sits down with Jason’s mom. She wants to know if Becca will be ready to be engaged at the end of this. Becca assures her that she will be and is hopeful she’ll find her person.

When Jason sits down with his mom, he admits that until recently, he’s felt his relationship with Becca was “behind” what she had with the other bro-testants. Now he feels their connection has surpassed the other ones. Jason’s mom cross-examines him about her. She’s protective but supportive.

Jason sits down with his brother and his husband. Jason gets googly-eyed about Becca with his brother, who pushes him to tell her how he feels. His family is so lovely, y’all.

They leave the house and before she goes, Jason says he’s wildly in love with her. Not “falling in love,” but “in love.” He’s all in and I’m a new member of Team Jason. Now that I’m fully invested in Jason, I expect him to be eliminated. Should I start his campaign for Bachelor immediately?

Blake thinks he’s a “mountain man”

Becca goes to Bailey, Colorado, to meet up with Blake. He claims that she’s called him her mountain man, and I don’t believe it for a second. He might be from Colorado, but he doesn’t even have a beard. We live at sea level and I’m pretty sure my husband is more of a mountain man than pretty boy Blake.

Normally, I’m rolling my eyes when the bro-testant takes the bachelorette to their high school (*cough* Jordan Rodgers *cough*), but Blake has very heartfelt reasons for bringing her there. In additional to introducing her to his mentors, he talks about how those years really formed him into the person he became. For one thing, his traumatic parents’ divorce happened during that time-frame.

But something even more tragic occurred during high school: a school shooting. His voice waivers as he tells the heartbreaking story. His sister was a student and his mom worked at the school, so they were both there that day. The shooter, a stranger, opened fire. His mom was the one who went on the intercom to alert everyone. A swat team arrived and they led everyone out of the school. Sadly, a student died that day. It’s a big reason for why he tries to live his life so positively.

Somebody loves you!

On a much brighter note, Blake has one more surprise for Becca. They walk into the school auditorium, and suddenly there is an enormous crowd cheering them on. Betty Who is on the stage and it’s finally someone I recognize! Becca seems to be a genuine fan girl as she sings along to “Somebody Loves You.” It’s better than Baha Men!

Blake and Becca arrive at his mom’s house. His mom quickly pulls him away to have “the talk.” He tells her that he’s already told Becca those three magic words. He could be engaged the next time he sees his mom! She thinks the whole thing is freaking crazy and while she’s supportive, she’s nervous he’s going to get his heart broken. This appears to be a theme.

Blake’s stepdad is feeling equally protective. He’s worried how things will go when they aren’t living in this fantasy world of this show anymore. What happens when every date stops ending with a generic country music act and uneaten entrees?

Blake’s mom cross-examines Becca. She witnessed Blake’s previous break-up and is scared to death that he’s going to have his heart broken again. Becca appreciates Blake’s depth of characters, formed out of all of this…which isn’t surprising. We know this girl loves a sad backstory in her men.

Before Becca and Blake part, he tells her that he loves her again. Is she contractually unable to reciprocate?

Colton wears a unicorn horn

Next up, Becca goes to Parker, Colorado to meet up with Colton. First, they shop for kids who are patients at the Children’s Hospital. This involves a lot of unicorn items. We meet two kids at the hospital and my heart explodes. They open presents, play games, and do some art projects. The cuteness is almost unbearable. Becca and Colton see each other in mom and dad-mode and get swoony.

Colton reveals that this is the first time he’s bringing someone home to meet his family. Becca very honestly shares how his having only one previous relationship makes her nervous. She’s learned a lot about what she wants and doesn’t want in a partner based on her past relationships. But he feels confident in what they have together!

Becca and Colton walk into a room filled with family. No pressure, Becca! Little cousin Harper asks Colton if Becca is his girlfriend, and he answers yes. He does not explain that she has three other boyfriends.

Colton’s dad takes him aside to speak privately. He wants to know how open and honest he and Becca are being with each other and I’m impressed by the question. Colton tells him that he admitted to the Tia situation, but his dad wants to know how much Becca has shared about Arie and whether she’s ready to get engaged again.

Don’t pick my son, he could be the next Bachelor

Colton’s dad doesn’t want her to pick Colton if it’s not truly the right decision, no matter how happy Colton seems. Plus, if she breaks up with him, there’s a chance he could be the next Bachelor.

Colton and his mom take time to chat alone. She was very skeptical about this process. She asks if he’s been open with Becca. This family is all about communication and I love it. He assures his mom he has, he even disclosed his virginity to Becca. His mom wants to know if he’s ready to propose. Colton was waiting until today to decide, and he feels that he is — he’s in love with Becca! His mom trusts his judgment.

She sits down with Becca and they both discuss his virginity and I’m dying inside, although I respect their willingness to speak about this. Becca wants to know if he’s going to be able to commit. His mom says that she would never have believed it, but after speaking to him, she knows he’s ready.

Becca wants to hear him say he’s “in love.” And lo and behold, he says those exacts words to her moments later. She is starting to see him as a potential life partner.

Time to ask the girl squad for advice

Becca has an extremely difficult decision to make. She feels like she can see a future with all four of them, so she needs her girl squad from the Bachelor to help her out. They drink some mimosas and get to it! Becca tells them about each guy and what their hometown visit was like. She stresses how good of a kisser Jason is and one of the girls is like, get that guy in the fantasy suite STAT!

As Becca speaks about Colton, we pause dramatically on Tia’s face several times. Tia pulls Becca outside, and the other girls are confused.

Tia wants to be fully honest with Becca. She says that she still has feelings for Colton, and it’s making her feel sick. Becca wishes she knew this earlier.

Tia, quit trying to make your storyline on Bachelor in Paradise happen! They went on ONE date, you guys. Becca met his entire damned family! I am Team NOT Tia on this one. Stay in your lane, girl.

Becca steps out onto the balcony at sunset in a gorgeous sparkly gown and she looks unbelievable. Eat your heart out, Arie.

The guys gather in their best formal wear to discover their fate. Becca is emotional knowing that she’s about to blindside one of these guys. She tells the bro-testants that this is gut-wrenching.

The first rose goes to Blake and his red bow tie. The next rose goes to Jason. Whew! My dream for a Jecca future lives on. Jecca? Bason? @ me your suggestions!

Who gets the final rose? Is it going to be Colton or Garrett?

Garrett receives the final rose. Becca says Tia’s comments had no effect on her decision to eliminate Colton, but how will Colton feel about all this once he reunites with Tia? Becca walks a devastated Colton out. Look, he’s 26 and a former pro-football player. He is going to be okay.

This episode receives four out of five Meghan Markles for how much it made me believe in love, mostly due to Jason’s adorable family and his kissing skills. Next week, Thailand!

Next: Here's why Colton could be the next Bachelor

Watch The Bachelorette on Monday nights at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.