The Bachelor season 24, episode 5 spoiled recap: Scarface Pete

They do a photoshoot for Cosmo which is an AWESOME group date, ngl. Peter shows up aptly dressed.

We find out the winner will have their photo featured with Peter on the March edition of Cosmo (though we’ve since learned that, for extenuating circumstances, Cosmo will be scrapping this feature). Is this concept not incredibly awkward? Imagine if Peter doesn’t end up with that person–the odds, mathematically speaking, are not in his favor here. As an aside, the photos from this shoot. Are. Absolute. Fire.

Victoria F. makes out with Peter in front of everyone and Kelsey starts spiraling as she sees Peter kiss other girls in front of her. This is not the first, but second time Victoria has snagged a public smooch. Peter is clearly into it, and the women are crumbling.

Does Peter want to find a wife or have his car keyed at the end of this? Friendly reminder that Colton would never. Have some decency, kind sir. The women are wailing in the vines. Victoria F. wins the group date.

Cocktail party

At the cocktail party, Peter pulls aside Victoria F. She tells him it was her birthday two days ago and she turned 26. He jokes that he is 28 and therefore her grandfather. This whole thing was quite cute, minus the slightly weird grandfather flex but ok.

Then, he talks to Hannah Ann, and they, too, are very cute. We were distracted, however, by Peter holding a wine stem. Did production not require him to use sippy cups after his golf cart extravaganza?

Kelsey tells him her feelings are very strong. Tammy makes a fatal error and uses her time to talk to Peter about Kelsey. We have several issues with this: first of all, don’t waste your time talking about others on your time with the lead; second of all, yes Kelsey was overreacting and emotional, but it was NOT a “mental breakdown.” It’s insulting to call it a mental breakdown and we understand Kelsey’s defensiveness here – there was no reason to escalate to that.

Peter, you do not ask a girl if she’s okay by saying you heard she had, “kind of a mental breakdown.” Also, this is the antithesis of stay in your lane, Peter.

A quick note to everyone on this season of The Bachelor: Snitches get stitches. Peter learned that the hard way (we kid).

Kelsey confronts the women about being called emotionally unstable, and they could not look more over it. No one fesses up to being the one who talked shit and Kelsey defends her crying. Reality Steve has said Kelsey was a contender for the ‘Ette. This edit has effectively ensured she has absolutely no shot at this. Seriously, did she steal a producer’s luggage? This edit is making her look so bad.

Honestly, we’re over the never-ending drama. Everyone seemingly has an issue with everyone. Tensions are high, we get it. But imagine if everyone just minded their own business. Kelsey is in the right for being upset over this, but she’s not going about this in the best way. This is the most in-house tension I think we’ve seen that hasn’t been a gimmick (looking at you, whaboom). This season just ain’t a good look thus far. We’re not gonna lie, this has been so dramatic that when Peter sat down, we forgot this was a group date and not a BiP rose ceremony. Is this the same furniture?

Peter, it’s time to get a grip on the group. Hannah Brown would never allow this. If she had, we’d have been looking at 15 champagne flute chugs.