The Bachelorette recap: Can I walk you out? (You’re outside, Becca!)

Last we left our conflicted Bachelorette, she was struggling to choose between Emotional Blake or Divorced Garrett. Who will get the final rose and who will, quite frankly, get crushed?

Say hi to my Bach Fantasy League! I’m recapping from a viewing party. I made buffalo chicken dip in honor of Jason (Jason for Bachelor!). Hopefully I can ration the rosé and write a coherent recap, but I make no promises.

We start this episode in the studio as Chris Harrison greets viewers. He says it is the most “emotional” finale ever. I’m sorry, have we all forgotten about Becca’s ambush unedited breakup?

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On to the Maldives, where we see Becca in an adorable tourist ensemble. Her stylist has been doing a bang up job all season!

Her family is there and they are thrilled to see her. They also probably cannot believe they have to go through this again.

She tells her fam that she loves both men. She isn’t going to make a decision until the last day. Her family is just thrilled she’s not marrying Arie.

Garrett arrives with his giant smile the size of Reno

Garrett is so happy and so goofy. The room I’m in is fully Team Garrett. He makes a beautiful speech honoring her late father and it’s very touching.

Becca and her mom discuss how her father would feel about this. Uncle Chuck interrogates Garrett about his divorce. ASK ABOUT HIS INSTAGRAM LIKES, CHUCK!

Garrett talks about his mother surviving cancer and losing his grandfather to it. He gets teary and Uncle Chuck wants to know if he’s cried in front of Becca. He hasn’t yet. Garrett then goes to Becca’s sister to cry next. He’s almost as emotional as Emotional Blake.

Becca and her sister sit down and she loves Garrett immediately. Becca starts to cry. Garrett has this in the bag, right?

Blake meets the family

Now it’s time for Blake’s visit. It’s important to note that she hasn’t done her skinny girl jump onto either Garrett or Blake.

Blake is sweating bullets and is vibrating from his nerves. He sits down with the sister. She starts to interrogate him. Why Becca? He explains how he has always had strong women in his life and that’s what attracted him to Becca.

The sister tells Becca that Blake would challenge her and be a true teammate.

As they’re talking Becca comes to the realization that she thought it would always be Blake, but now she’s unsure. She feels guilty about feeling this way about someone other than him. Garrett is a bigger risk, but it sounds like a risk she wants to take.

Blake tells Becca’s mom how he feels about her, how Becca is extraordinarily special. Her mom tells him that he’s special too. She’s such a mom. And then says that he’s going to be okay either way. Uh oh.

Blake is worried that something is off with Becca and him today. We get very short moments with the stepdad and Uncle Chuck. The room I’m in feels that Uncle Chuck looks like Saul from Better Call Saul. Thoughts?

Blake is sensing something is off with Becca. In interview, he says, “She’s going to pick Garrett.” Oh damn!

Becca sits down with her family. Her mom says that Blake seems on her level and they come across like an equal team. They were a match, they were bookends. Uncle Chuck calls him a beautiful soul and a poet. Now, that’s a stretch.

Everyone starts crying. Becca is in tears. Who can she not picture her life without?

Last one-on-one dates with the guys

Becca finally does her patented four limbed jump into Garrett’s arms. They go sailing with champagne in the Maldives. Suddenly, I want to apply for the Bachelorette. I am married. And old.

Becca shares with Garrett what her family thought and how they saw his hidden emotional depth.

They make out at the bow of the boat, like you do.

They jump into the water and make out at the equator. Like you do.

They sit down for the formal part of the date where there will be no eating. Garrett tells her how he envisions the future and imagines changing a diaper while she gets ready for work. I’m so glad he plans to help with diaper changing. I can attest how important that is. Lock him down, Becca!

Garrett says he would be happy for her even if she doesn’t pick him. He’d be crushed, but he wants the best for her. She says he reminded her of her dad. She thinks that it feels like home with him. Garrett says that when he was talking to her mom, he felt like he was talking to her dad too. The entire room I’m in melted at that remark. It might be the rosé, but we’ve got the feels.

Garrett waxes poetic about having kids with Becca. He wants to fill that minivan, y’all!

Blake’s date with Becca

Blake and Becca ride their bikes and then go paddleboarding. Becca’s makeup is near perfect, despite swimming in the ocean. Do they reset between filming or is it waterproof? Someone find out so I can buy the same brand.

Becca shares with Blake how supportive her family has been. She explains how she’s been in her head all week and he appreciates that they can talk about it. They make out in the water. She even “skinny girl jumps” onto him in the water.

His hair is suddenly very curly. That humidity is killer!

They have the evening portion of their date where they do not eat. He gives her a scrapbook and it looks mildly like something a serial killer might create, but Becca appreciates it. He professes his love once again.

Becca awakes the next day and reminds us that she’s in love with two men. She reads her sister’s letter and the biggest revelation is that Becca’s nickname is Booper.

The time honored tradition of picking your free ring

Neil Lane helps Garrett pick out the ring for Becca, the one pre-selected by trade-out producers. We see Blake head to Neil Lane’s cabana on the beach, and Neal gives him the other pre-selected ring.

“I’ve not only found my partner in this, I’ve found myself.”

Both men put on their finest suits while Becca is adorned in the ultimate sparkly white gown.

Chris Harrison claims he’s never seen anything like this. I believe that’s what he said last year too. And the year before. And the year before that.

Becca waits by the water and in interview, she gets so emotional that she reaches a pitch I didn’t know was humanly possible.

The first proposal of the night

Everyone in my room cringe as Blake proposes. It’s a car wreck and we can’t look away. We know it’s not a good sign that he went first.

One of the ladies in my Bach Fantasy League says, “I hope they fly out Blake’s mom because he’s going to need her.”

Becca whispers to Blake, “Give me a minute.” She collects her thoughts and starts with the compliments, before she then breaks the truth to him. The shock is clearly heartbreaking. He says he didn’t expect this. He’s sweating profusely. Hand that boy a towel!

Becca: “Can I walk you out?” You’re outside, Becca!

He’s all tears and sweat as he walks away from her. This is what a crushed man looks like. Blake ugly crying is hard to watch.

Becca starts to hyperventilate, saying she doesn’t want him to think he did anything wrong. He didn’t.

So sure and so wrong at the same time

We’re back in the studio with Blake and it’s silent. Blake says it was difficult to watch. It’s hard to see himself be so sure and so wrong at the same time.

Blake remarks that the only red flag was that there were no red flags. Chris Harrison asks if he’s still in love with her, and he says he’ll always have love for Becca. He never really considered that if he proposed, she would say no. He admits he is nervous to see her tonight. Blake says the hardest part of watching the show back was not watching her with other guys, but seeing himself with Becca.

Here comes our Beccca

Chris Harrison brings Becca back out. Blake wants to know if there was one moment where she knew it wasn’t going to be him. She says no, there wasn’t one thing that happened.

Becca thinks that both guys were equally “solid.” Becca does tell him that he got in his head a lot and it did make her question how he would handle the tough times. I could see after what she had gone through in losing her father, that this would be a factor for her.

Blake says that because of his experience with her, he won’t be scared of falling in love again.

Finally, it’s time to see Garrett propose!

We’re back on the beach and you can see how excited Becca is for him to arrive.

Garrett declares his love for her. She says that she knew on night one that there was something strong between them, and that’s why he got the first impression rose. He reminded her of home and of her father.

She says that she’s been holding back and finally he hears the words he’s been waiting for…she loves him too. Garrett gets down on one knee and proposes.

Becca hands Garrett the final rose

After she hands him the rose, we come back to the studio and Becca and Garrett walk in to thunderous applause. They look genuinely happy together. Everyone eyes the ring appreciatively. I like free jewelry too.

Becca says that the hometown visit solidified it for her. She ran into his sister at the airport when she was leaving and they hugged. Then Becca started crying into her breakfast quesadilla.

Becca tells Chris that since their proposal, “We’ve grown so solid.” “Solid” is her thing, you guys.

Those pesky double taps

Garrett addresses his suspect likes on Instagram. I appreciate that they’re both handling this head first. I may be suspicious of his character because of his social media, but I do think Becca is the one who could help him learn and grow about the world.

After some cute talk about getting four corgis, they learn they get to go back to Thailand. Yeah, like they haven’t gotten enough free vacations. Chris Harrison says they have another gift outside. It’s the minivan, right?

It is! It even has the wood paneling and the carseat and soccer balls in the back.

No news on who the next Bachelor will be! Who do you guys want to see? I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m Team Jason and Team Wills. I would take either. Or both. How do you feel about Blake?

After a hundred episodes and a fourteen hour finale (give or take), we’ve reached the end of this season of The Bachelorette. Thank you for letting me join you on this journey.

This episode receives 5 out of 5 Meghan Markles for how much it makes me believe in true love. All the Meghans! Don’t forget to tune in to BiP!