The Bachelorette recap episode 7: Hometowns are on the line!

Last we left our spokeswoman for the city of Richmond, Becca Kufrin, had dispatched self-destructing Chris and ew-inducing Lincoln. Next, our Bachelorette and her bro-testants head to the Bahamas! Who will she send packing next and who will make it to the coveted hometowns?

We arrive in a tropical paradise and we see Becca aboard a boat, wind in her hair. It was 110 degrees where I live this weekend and I’m jealous. That water doesn’t even look real!

Becca sits down with Chris Harrison and shares how she wants no drama and thinks the guys remaining won’t bring it. This is the exact opposite of what the producers want. I feel like an immediate production alarm was sounded as the words “no drama” escaped her lips. She admits to Chris that she’s falling in love with a few guys. Becca confesses she’s scared that something is going to ruin it. Is this foreshadowing?

More from Accept This Rose

• Bachelor in Paradise Season 9 finale: How to watch
• Dancing with the Stars winners in order (including the DWTS 2023 winner)
• The DWTS finale is going to be a long one tonight, December 5!
• 2 contestants are about to self-eliminate on Bachelor in Paradise
• The Golden Bachelor wedding special is coming to ABC

The bro-testants discuss how important family is to them. If they make it past this week, they’ll be meeting introducing Becca to their nearest and dearest.

Wills is wearing a leopard print shirt and I’m here for it. Blake interviews that he might drop the L word.

So far he’s always qualified it with “falling in love” versus “in love.”  Becca explains to the guys that instead of the typical rose ceremony, there will be three one-on-ones and a group date for the other three.

Damn, who is getting a one-on-one?

Colton gets the first one-on-one

The guys immediately start spiraling. Why didn’t they get a one-on-one? No one expected Colton to receive it. Is he going to reveal he’s a virgin? Apparently, he’s confided in the boys, but not the woman he’s dating. After the producers many allusions, it’s finally confirmed!

Colton and Becca hop on a catamaran and Becca interviews about Colton’s abs for several minutes. I think she might be in for a rude awakening about what could happen if they get to the fantasy suite.

Colton does a Jack Dawson, “I’m king of the world!” on the boat and I’m hoping this date doesn’t end with Becca taking up a whole floating door as he slides to his icy death. There was room for two! #neverforget

“There’s so much conch!”

Colton and Becca get pretty touchy-feely while wearing limited clothing on the catamaran. Colton starts to bring up needing to reveal something to her, but the producers have other plans. They send over another small boat and the captain is going to help them find “conch” (pronounced “konk” sounds like . . . another word). The “pistol” inside the conch is considered Bahamian Viagra when consumed. These producers are evil and I love it.

Becca and Colton snorkel for conch. Becca exclaims, “There’s so much conch!” which Becca hasn’t said since the first night in the mansion.

Afterward, they proceed to make-out. He nervously tells producers that he hopes his virginity isn’t a deal-breaker for her.

Moment of truth

It’s time for the evening portion of that date. This means that Becca is in a sparkly dress and they won’t eat anything.

Colton tells Becca that he needs to address something that could be a potential roadblock for them. Colton hasn’t dated much because he’s put his professional life first. He’s only had one serious relationship and hasn’t gone on that many dates at all. He finally tells her what only a handful of people know and the internet has debated: Colton is a virgin. But he’s proud of it now and thinks she should know.

Becca is shocked. She steps away for a second as she says goodbye to her fantasy suite expectations. Colton is terrified. What is she thinking?

You’re just a virgin who can’t drive!

Back with the bro-testants, the guys gossip about Colton’s virginity. They predict he won’t get a rose. Sex is an important part of a relationship.

Becca returns to the table. Colton says that it was difficult in the locker room environment and he fabricated lies to fit in. Colton tells her that when the time comes, it will happen. He explains that he’s not waiting for marriage, he’s waiting for the right heart. Or Bachelor in Paradise? She says she would never judge him for this and appreciates that he opened up.

Becca picks up the rose. She wants to meet the people that made Colton Underwood. And I want to meet his adorable dog! Colton is going to hometowns!

Back at the hotel suite, Blake is flipping out. He really thought he was getting that first one-on-one. Wills side-eyes him — obviously they all wanted that one-on-one. A date card arrives and Garrett is next up. Blake feels personally attacked by Regina George. I mean, targeted because he didn’t get a date card. Is Blake losing it?

Colton returns and everyone pretends they’re not disappointed that his V-Card wasn’t a deal-breaker.

Garrett’s one-on-one date

The next day Becca mauls Garrett on the beach. It’s that skinny girl-style greeting where she jumps into his arms and wraps him up in her limbs.

They’re going to island hop from a seaplane. My typical Tuesday! Champagne is popped and make-outs ensue. They land on the water and head to their private beach. We see them kiss on a tire swing and write their names in the sand. Becca and Garrett are all about that movie montage life.

Related Story: Rachel Lindsay has this to say about Garrett...

They sit on the beach and talk about how it’s getting more difficult as the numbers dwindle and feelings grow. Becca eagerly questions him, hoping for some of her personal catnip, hidden pain. But he’s just happy-go-lucky Garrett. They lie down on the edge of the water and make-out, something that seems like a good idea in theory, but is probably uncomfortably sandy in practice.

Becca and Garrett are then dressed up for an outdoor dinner where they will eat nothing. She wonders if there’s enough depth to what they have together. Becca asks Garrett if the last girl he brought home was his ex-wife? Yes, it was. No pressure, Becca.

Becca wants to know why he jumped into marriage. He explains that he was immature and his ex was hot-headed. He thought he could handle it, but he realized that he was changing himself in the process. Becca is afraid that he might experience doubts, but he would try to push through to make it work. He assures her he hasn’t seen a red flag yet.

Garrett tells her that he’s beginning to fall in love. She blushes happily in her interview, and at the table, she hands him the date rose. She can’t wait to meet his family!

They strip down to their bathing suits and run into the water to make-out. She’s got it bad for him. Back at the hotel, the date card arrives and it is revealed that Blake and his neuroses receive the next one-on-one.

Who let the dogs out?

We come back and are forced to listen to a live performance of Baha Men’s “Who let the dogs out?” and now I will never get it out of my head. Oh wait, we also get to hear their new single. I might have cared twenty years ago? At least it’s not an unrecognizable generic country band

Becca and Blake dance together and then head to a secluded part of the beach for a make-out session. Blake shares his anxieties about her building relationships with other guys. He admits that he’s very affected by this and he didn’t think he would be. Becca sympathizes with the reduced-fat Wheat Thin, Arie, because she now understands what it’s like to feel strongly about multiple people.

Blake continues to spiral. I’m afraid he’s going to break his face like David just to guarantee a rose. Stop being so thirsty for it, man..

At the dinner portion of the date, Becca pushes to know more about Blake’s parents’ divorce. She loves emotional darkness, this one. His parents got divorced when he was in high school. His mom was having an affair with his basketball coach/English teacher. The scandal hit the town’s local rumor mill hard. He found out his mom was moving out through a friend, not even his parents. Whoa!

Blake is in love!

Becca and Blake talk about the ease of their communication. He tells her that falling in love is fun, but staying in love would be even more fun. Blake admits that he’s in love with her. She makes him say it again, probably to ensure this isn’t an Arie-situation. She needs to get it on the record!

Becca interviews that she wants to hear him say he loves her over and over. She happily hands the date rose to him. She wants to meet his family. Blake is getting a hometown date.

She admits to producers that she and Blake are on the same page, but she can’t tell him yet. She can see a forever love with him.

The dreaded group date

The boys wear their best shorts as they arrive by boat to meet Becca. They play volleyball, historically one of the most romantic sports, only bested by tennis.

Becca and Wills take some time alone together. Wills admits it’s been a very hard week. He told her he was falling in love and then he didn’t get a one-on-one date. He really wants her to meet his parents, who will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next year.

He describes his dad, who sounds exactly like him. Becca’s mom and Wills’ mom also sound like they could become besties. He’s so cute, you guys. I want him to get to do the hometown date.

Becca and Jason then sit down together alone. Jason has tried to just focus on their relationship and forget about everything and everyone else. He continues to be a good kisser.

Next, Leo and Becca head to the beach together. Leo knows he’s different from the other guys. He lives a very adventurous life and doesn’t date much.

Leo asks her, “Am I where these other guys are?” They’ve had more time with her and their relationships seem further along. He admits it would take him more time to be ready to get down on one knee. He’s being very straightforward, and I appreciate it.

Becca talks it through with him and she admits it’s only fair that he not bring her home to his family. They’re just not there in the relationship. This is his goodbye. We don’t even get an exit interview with him.

Becca emotionally tells the bro-testants that she said goodbye to Leo. They hop on the boat and leave Leo behind on the island to fend for himself.

It’s time for the formal ensemble, not-eating part of the date. Jason and Wills anxiously eye the rose on the table.

Jason holds back

First, Jason and Becca slip away and Jason uses his superpower, kissing, to distract Becca from asking him tough questions. She finally comes up for air and asks if he has any reservations about introducing her to his parents. He thinks that their last date gave him the confidence to do so.

Becca knows the chemistry is there between them, but she is nervous that he’s not as vocal with how he feels. He promises that he’s taking his walls down and that his feeling are definitely there. He doesn’t want their chapter to close. Dude, she wants you to say you’re in love with her. But I appreciate that he didn’t say anything just to say it.

Next, Wills receives one-on-one time with Becca. He wants to get some things off his chest. He was scared to say he was falling in love last week because he’d been hurt in the past. He doesn’t use the words lightly. He says she makes him feel calm, emotional, and believe in love. Coincidentally, I feel that same way about Wills. Team Wills!

Becca makes her hardest decision yet!

Becca wants to be on the same page with her partner. She hands her rose to Jason. But what about Wills! Ohhhh, What About Wills?, is that a good title for his post-Bachelorette memoir? Someone tweet him! Looks like we’ll be seeing him on Bachelor in Paradise soon enough.

Becca tells Wills that this is her hardest decision yet, but she wasn’t 100% on the same page with him. She didn’t want to bring his parents into it. Or as he says, he gave her his heart and she said, “No thanks.” He’s crying and I might be crying and the world might be crying. #justiceforwills

We cut back and forth from Wills crying, to Becca making out with Jason. Wills asks to get out of the car and breaks down. I’m going to cry again.

Now we’re down to four generically handsome white guys. Oh, Bach Nation. Some things just never change.

Next: Do these pics reveal Bachelorette Becca's final pick?

I was ready to give this episode 5 out of 5 Meghan Markles for making me believe in true love (and for simply not having Chris or Lincoln in it). But then Becca had to ruin everything by eliminating Wills. This episode has officially been downgraded to 3 out of 5 Meghan Markles.