The Bachelor season 24, episode 6 spoiled recap: Whew, Chile

ABC/Francisco Roman
ABC/Francisco Roman /
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ABC/Francisco Roman
ABC/Francisco Roman /

El Amore De Pedro

Next up, we have the Bachelor telenovela group date. We learned how to speak Spanish and be dramatic by watching telenovelas after school in 6th grade, so we loved this date experience. Noted child actor Peter Weber is really in his element here.

This Bachelor date is super fun! We sufficiently enjoyed ourselves at least.

Kelley’s role is Peter’s abuela (grandmother) and we have to agree when she refers to herself as a GILF (Grandma I’d like to … Fantasy Suite). Ms. Abuela Kelley, no Doubt, is Fire. The women all get into their roles and seem to have a lot of fun.

Also, this Bachelor recap has been finished by our ghost, because we perished when Mustache Chris screamed “MIJO” at Peter. We have an inkling some of the women are reformed theater kids, and we’d like to see the photos, thanks. Also, same. Hopefully, they had better roles than Kelsey (the piano player) in High School Musical.

While Mykenna felt like she’d probably be sent home without a one-on-one this week (and indeed packed her bags, keep that in your back pocket for later), she goes in seeking “clarity” and gets the validation she needs on this group date. She’s happy.

ABC/Maarten de Boer
ABC/Maarten de Boer /

Cocktail party

At the cocktail party, Victoria P. goes to talk to Peter (specifically about “the whole Alayah thing”). She attempts Hannah Brown’s orangutan lap-sit from episode two but does not receive the same reciprocation from a deflated Pete. We assume the Alayah situation really put a damper on his feelings for Victoria P., but he doesn’t really offer an explanation as to why his feelings for her are no longer as strong.

They ultimately determine they’re on different pages and Peter sends her home. He does a frustrating thing where he acts like a martyr every time he dumps someone; he always talks about how hard it is for him and how he doesn’t want to put her through this anymore. It’s annoying.

The issue, too, is that Peter is fickle and he acts on it. This is certainly not a unique characteristic, but he’s 28 years old and should know by now that his emotions change faster than the girls changing into their linger-y (sorry, we forgot they *woke up like this*, as Peter correctly guessed). All this to say, he might benefit from keeping some of his thoughts to himself in the long-run.

Peter tells the women he sent Victoria P. home; it was a bit more mutual than you deciding she’s not your wife, but whatever soothes your ego. He doesn’t seem too broken up about it – and is probably relieved he doesn’t have to make that decision. He later has some one-on-one time with Madison and Padison seems to still be smitten. Also, do they have magnetic fields in their foreheads? Asking for a friend.

Does anyone else feel like we’ve missed the “second act” of almost every relationship? With Kelley last week, we were slightly taken aback at Peter’s sudden reservations. With Hannah Ann this episode, his megadoubt came seemingly out of nowhere, and, with Madi, we’ve basically seen no progression of their relationship, but whenever they’re together, they’re fully googly-eyed.

It legit feels like there’s some deleted Bachelor episode that took place in some locale between Costa Rica and Chile. It’s typical to fill the first few episodes with mindless chatter, TBT to Whaboom, but by now we’re usually a lot farther along in the relationships. It’s frustrating. The drama has gone on for too long, and it shows.

This fun Bachelor episode goes down in flames as Tammy, Kelsey, and Mykenna sit down for an ill-advised chat. They could not be further away from one another on the couch; are they in an acute or isosceles triangle?

Tammy decides to attack Mykenna for seemingly no reason. She questions Mykenna’s readiness … which, we get it, she’s 22, but half the girls are 23, and Tammy herself is 24, but her opinions are true to herself so….

Honestly, Tammy, we were all rooting for you. Please stop starting drama. Natasha speaks for the audience here (and at all times). We appreciate that Kelsey sticks up for Mykenna when Tammy calls her a child. Very strong “don’t you dare speak to my daughter that way” energy. Mykenna was just minding her own damn business. Mykenna tells Peter that Tammy attacked her and that she’s upset about it.

You know The Bachelor drama is out of control when the lead simply ignores the sounds of yelling. Also, we forgot this was still the group date and thought we were at the rose ceremony. It’s not our fault – our brains are so cognitively overloaded by the yelling that we can’t keep up with the extremely formulaic timeline of these episodes.

It seems like a lot of the women stirring the pot (i.e., Tammy) are basically projecting the fact that Peter just isn’t that into them, and are taking it out on the group. We get it, the feeling sucks – and Peter’s not particularly the best at concealing it, unlike past leads. That said, that doesn’t make it your job to start judging the remaining suitors. Just because you have an opinion doesn’t make it a good one, nor does it mean you should always say it. If we may borrow from Hannah Brown: stay in your freaking lane.

Madison gets the group date rose (obviously) and we can’t help but notice how happy Kelley is for her. Kelley clearly isn’t into Peter, and these two ladies (and Mykenna + Hannah Ann) might be the only two friendships to have formed this season. Seriously, do any of the other women like each other?