Accept This Rose
Fansided

Bachelor in Paradise: Every Season 7 contestant ranked

By Zach Zola

BACHELOR IN PARADISE - “709” – There’s more than one storm brewing this week in Paradise. Picking up right where we left off, a devastated Kendall shares a tearful confession with her former beau, but a coupled-up Joe just can’t tell her what she wants to hear. Then, guest host Lil Jon attempts to turn up the heat, bringing in two new guys who are ready to make up for lost time. Meanwhile, some couples are taking it to the next level while others hit stumbling blocks, but things only get more complicated as clouds roll in and Paradise is forced to take a break from the beach. When the clouds part, even if there isn’t a lot of damage from the storm, that doesn’t mean there won’t be a mess to clean up on “Bachelor in Paradise,” TUESDAY, SEPT. 21 (8:00-10:00 p.m. EDT), on ABC. (ABC/Craig Sjodin)BACHELOR IN PARADISE
BACHELOR IN PARADISE - “709” – There’s more than one storm brewing this week in Paradise. Picking up right where we left off, a devastated Kendall shares a tearful confession with her former beau, but a coupled-up Joe just can’t tell her what she wants to hear. Then, guest host Lil Jon attempts to turn up the heat, bringing in two new guys who are ready to make up for lost time. Meanwhile, some couples are taking it to the next level while others hit stumbling blocks, but things only get more complicated as clouds roll in and Paradise is forced to take a break from the beach. When the clouds part, even if there isn’t a lot of damage from the storm, that doesn’t mean there won’t be a mess to clean up on “Bachelor in Paradise,” TUESDAY, SEPT. 21 (8:00-10:00 p.m. EDT), on ABC. (ABC/Craig Sjodin)BACHELOR IN PARADISE /
facebooktwitterreddit
Prev
3 of 4
Next

Bachelor in Paradise Season 7: Tier 6: Better Luck Next Summer

22: Jessenia Cruz

Ivan didn’t turn out great, but that is still no excuse to dump him for CHRIS. Here’s hoping she gets a second chance.

21: Connor Brennan

Oy. Wow, I just remembered he had a thing with Maurissa. That’s crazy. Anyway, overall terrible showing from the world’s most embarrassing math teacher.

Time for another…BONUS RANKING

Top 5 Cringiest Moments:

5) “Smoke Bros”

4) Demi trying to get Kenny to go to the boom-boom room with her (alternatively: Demi’s “pot-stirring” wink in the intro)

3) Tammy telling Thomas that he is her best friend

2) Chasen and Karl’s warring pieces of cheap jewelry

1) Connor singing love songs to Jessenia and Abigail (though rhyming “Jessenia” with “Millenia” is admittedly musical genius)

20: Tammy Ly

I will legitimately never get over [item #3 on the list above].

Bachelor in Paradise Season 7: Tier 7: Pleasant Surprises

19: Karl Smith

My expectations for Karl were in the basement, but he really exceeded them! Even though he was hated by the men on Katie’s season, I love how he seemed to just integrate himself with the Aaron-James-Tre crew. The bracelet idea was insane, though. Do better.

18: Anna Redman

Probably still not a good person in real life, let’s be honest. BUT she seemed like a good person this time around. Impressive showing.

17: Mykenna Dorn

Sporting a new hair color, Mykenna was another late arrival that made the most of her time. Dumping Ed was devastatingly awkward, but poor Ed probably never had a real chance.

16: Thomas Jacobs

This man is obsessed with gossip, and I can’t get enough of it. Every chance he gets, he has something to add to the situation. Profuse amounts of sweat aside, I thought Thomas batted a near-perfect season. After a rough edit with Katie, he was clearly just loving life on the beach this time around. All 6’6″ of him.

Bachelor in Paradise Season 7: Tier 8: Wish We Saw More of You

15: Ed Waisbrot

Count this as a vote for Bennett as well, who unbelievably didn’t make an appearance this season. Ed is laugh-out-loud funny, and we didn’t get nearly enough of that. And although he left fan-favorite Natasha, there was no denying that him asking Mykenna out was a great moment. Too bad it didn’t last.

14: Tre Cooper

I understand that his relationship with Tahzjuan had run its course, but that didn’t mean he had to just leave! Or at least bring us your uncle.

13: Tahzjuan Hawkins

The heat may have gotten to her again, but that didn’t stop Tahzjuan from becoming one of the most indispensable early-season members of the Paradise beach. Absolutely hilarious, especially when she was obsessed with Riley and had to cool off.

BONUS RANKING:

Top 5 Most Random Moments:

5) The fact that Olivia Holt showed up

4) Tahzjuan’s constipation

3) Alayah being at Titus Burgess’s dance party and then never coming back

2) Riley chastising Ivan after the hotel incident

1) Mari giving her rose to James in Week 2

12: Deandra Kanu

A relative unknown heading into the season, Deandra didn’t find love in Paradise but did find a permanent place in Bachelor Nation. Made one of the greatest decisions in sending both Chasen and Karl home, and then spent the rest of her time just chilling by the pool and talking sh*t. Not a bad life.

Home/Bachelor in Paradise