At long last, we had two action-packed hours of fresh Bachelor Nation content and it did not disappoint. We reacquainted ourselves with Clare (and Chris Harrison!) and finally met her 31 suitors – now it’s time to rank their odds.
Warning: Spoilers from The Bachelorette season 16 premiere ahead!
We kicked off The Bachelorette Season 16 by discussing Clare’s ~unique~ journey through quarantine. She shared with us that she was ~stuck in her home~ and ~had nowhere to go~. For a little while, she thought she would never have the chance to ever in her entire life meet her husband, ever. It was quite heart wrenching to watch.
They refreshed our memories about Clare’s past relationships and specifically focused on her time in Bachelor Nation – starting with Juan Pablo and ending with her second stint in Paradise. They made a very bizarre and noticeable decision to pretend that Winter Games never happened and that her ex-fiancé, Benoit, does not exist. ABC producers did address the omission, but I’m not buying it!
We didn’t get to know the majority of the men, but worry not, I have updated ‘Vegas Odds’ for each of them in Week 1’s version of the Bachelor Bob Power Rankings. The largest jump into the top five came from one of the Blakes. The largest tumble came from a single dad from Alabama who allegedly loves DMing women who go to school in Morgantown, West Virginia.
Before we get into the power rankings of the remaining men, let’s take a moment of remembrance for the GSJ Wannabees 2K20. While I’m certainly no psychic, I would like to point out that I absolutely nailed four out of the eight night one departures.
Here they are, in no particular order:
The Bachelorette Season 16: GSJ Wannabes
He was doomed from the start. Doomed because his name is Tyler C. Doomed because he showed up in a Chevy Chase station wagon and was followed up by a man in a Rolls-Royce. Doomed because he decided that night one was the night to play ‘right reasons police’ and pick a petty fight with one of the other men. Not good, my friend.
This one hurt. Jordan M. seemed like a very cool dude. He seems to be extremely intelligent, extremely kind, and is extremely tall. He’s one of my two nominees for this year’s GSJ.
I truly cannot believe that Mike went home this early. Maybe he was too nice, eh? He’s my other nominee for this year’s GSJ. Seems like such a wholesome dude, I don’t think Clare knows what she’s missing with Mike. He even brought her flats for when her feet got tired! Justice for Mike!
And we’re on to the rankings…