The Bachelor: Season 24, episode 2 power rankings

Let’s talk about the women of this week’s episode of The Bachelor!

The Bachelor is on week two of Pilot Peter’s season and that means we are finally getting a little more personality out of the ladies. Aka a better grasp on their psycho personalities of which we can then put some more reasoning behind our wine-infused judgment.

There were tears, there was name-calling, there was a fashion show featuring clothing junior high me would have swooned over, and there was a tiny incident that came to be known as #ChampagneGate. There were also clear power players who rose to the top like bubbles all over Kelsey’s face.

As much as I don’t buy her innocent, Southern, double first name act, Hannah Ann strut herself down the runway, into Peter’s heart, and to the number one place in the rankings this week.

Between her aggressive wedding dress choice for the Revolve fashion show and her attempt to gain Peter’s pity by claiming that Kelsey was bullying her after #ChampagneGate, Hannah Ann has our Bachelor wrapped around her wholesome, “I didn’t do anything wrong” finger.  (But, like, has this girl ever experienced real bullying? Sorry, not sorry Kelsey called you one bad name. Or two….) Despite her victim playing, Hannah Ann seems to be here to stay.

In second place this week we have Victoria F. who cried constantly but did a complete 180 and blew everyone away with her sexy lingerie fashion show evening outfit. Sex sells, people!

Do I hate her supposed lack of self-confidence that leaves her sobbing anytime literally anything happens? Yes. Do I think that Peter is equipped to deal with her emotional roller coaster of feelings? Nope, not at all. But she’s super pretty and very sweet when she isn’t tearing up about being shy. And obviously our guy is into her so Victoria F. has flown up the ranks and will be one to watch in the coming episodes.

Rounding out the top three this week is Madison who received possibly the worst gift ever from a dude she barely knows–a framed family photo from their awkward AF vow renewal first date. I’m sure she really did think it was sweet, but in real life, if a guy did this after this short period of time, best believe you should run for the hills before he locks you in his basement. Talk about creepy.

But alas, dear Peter is apparently smitten with Miss Madison and she seems to be in the same boat, or plane rather, and she is definitely safe for awhile. (All I ask is that when and if Madison gets the boot we get to see her return the picture and the uncomfortable words that accompany this gesture.)

We do have a few sneaky pre-power players to watch this week with “My Blog Isn’t Functional” Mykenna, “I Have a Family Like You” Sydney, and #ChampagneGate herself, Kelsey.

Mykenna and Sydney both made great impressions on the Bachelor and stood out from the pack in good ways that solidified their roses quickly.

Crying Kelsey not so much, but she did prove that she can manipulate a situation to her advantage. Plus, watching her fight with Hannah Ann is the kind of true drama-filled entertainment I am here for. Good television contestants go far and I am excited to see the catfights that are sure to come. (Assuming she can get a handle on her champagne drinking.)

Will Hannah Ann overcome her tragic bullying and keep her spot at the top? Will Victoria F. and Kelsey ever stop crying? And will Peter ever remember who any of these girls are without being reminded? Tune in next week to find out!