Rose lovers, last week’s episode of The Bachelorette Season 18 was just…weird. People threw empanadas at each other, the “competition” got to everyone’s head, Michelle Young eliminated her doe-eyed slice of home–and decided to keep a dude who wants to rip his heart out and throw it at her.
It is beyond me, but I am not the Bachelorette, so who am I to worry.
This week was Fantasy Suites or what the show likes to now refer to as “overnights”, so naturally, I returned to recap the cringiest moments of the episode. Buckle up, it’s going to be fun.
The Bachelorette Season 18, Episode 9: Moment #1: Michelle and Brandon’s food fight
Do you know what I really love about The Bachelorette? How unrealistic and far away from reality the dates on this show are. Michelle and Brandon go horseriding in beautiful Mexico and he describes it as “the most romantic thing” he has ever done with anyone in his life. He also starts every sentence by saying “Yo” which is not a good look. But if Michelle doesn’t mind, who am I to be distraught over this?
Cut to dinner, and Brandon tells the camera he wants to rip his heart out and throw it across the table because it only beats for Michelle, and so that she can do whatever she wants to do with it. Thankfully he changes his mind and professes his love via words instead, which earns him a fantasy suite invite.
Michelle doesn’t seem to reciprocate the love on the same level as he does, but she is extremely enthusiastic the morning after when their cute breakfast spread turns into a messy food fight. Beautiful empanadas are smashed over Brandon’s face, who responds by throwing stuff back at Michelle.
It was *hard* to look at so much incredible-looking food being wasted like that…cringe pro max!
The Bachelorette Season 18, Episode 9: Moment #2: The men realize there are other men on the show
The most awkward thing about this entire episode is the little walk of shame (or should I say pride?) each contestant did the morning of their fantasy suite dates. While the other two awaited their arrival, each of Michelle’s suitors walked in with confidence and style, a subtle indication of how well their dates with The Bachelorette were.
This week is when the men realize that there’s an actual competition they need to worry about ‚— the woman they want to marry is in a serious relationship with two other people. The drama begins here, as they just sit together embarrassed beyond belief while trying to maintain a steady conversation.
If Joe doesn't show up in Paradise next summer with the title card of "Minnesota Joe" what was even the point? #TheBachelorette #Bachelorette pic.twitter.com/CIsoItLDPa
— Accept This Rose (@IWatchBachelor) December 15, 2021
The Bachelorette Season 18, Episode 9: Moment #3: Michelle sends Joe home
I’m still mourning about Joe Coleman being sent home. He was Michelle’s slice of home–as she so proudly stated time and time again. So, what happened? All the Bachelorette said was “I can’t be your person,” without giving him any reason as to what had changed.
Was it Brandon’s last-minute speech? Were her connections with Nayte and Brandon stronger? Does she not want to live in Minnesota anymore? We have no idea. Let’s just say that Joe wasn’t the only one blindsided during this heart-breaking elimination–I was, too!
The Bachelorette Season 18 ends next week with gargantuan a 3-hour finale on Tuesday. See you then!
Check out The Bachelor Season 26 premiere on Monday, January 3 on ABC at 8 PM EST!