The Bachelor: Listen To Your Heart: Season 1, episode 4 performance grades

4 of 5
ABC/John Fleenor
ABC/John Fleenor /

Julia Rae & Brandon Mills, “We Belong” by Pat Benatar (LOL)

Vocal Performance: D-

LOL. Sheridan at home is WHEEZING and clinking champagne glasses with Savannah at this absolute train-wreck. It was truly poetic justice to watch these two selfish disasters crash and burn in red-flag flames. I’m sorry, I should be more sympathetic to Julia’s collapse at the hands of the Evil Stefano* (*Natascha) and reasonably excuse this dismal performance.

Not only do they exude absolutely zero onstage chemistry, their vocals completely clash. Brandon is simply not strong enough of a singer to match Julia’s pipes – he was much better suited to Savannah’s softer vocals and as the lead. Conversely, Sheridan had the necessary vocal depth and bluesy sound to compliment Julia’s powerhouse voice.

In an absolutely delightful punch of karma to the face, the newly formed Listen To Your Heart duo consequently collapsed. They were flat, apparently forgot to learn the harmonies, and simply sang the same key, and Julia just shouted over Brandon’s voice the entire time. Their performance was best summed up by the line of the night from my deity, Rachel: “more like a karaoke performance.” The judges’ collective roast of this duo was the highlight of the night.

Interpretive Routine: D

I said it earlier, Brandon’s guitar is his performative crutch, and Julia doesn’t have the sass Savannah brought to the table to pick up the slack. She was just sort of…hopping in place? Julia may be in high demand for the school lead of Roger Rabbit with that routine, but the entire thing was just a massive failure. Excellent choice that went up in flames, you two. Maybe you should listen to your heart and not your red-flag colored glasses. It’s literally in the title.

~Romance~ Level: F

Am I being bitter on Sheridan’s behalf? Perhaps. Did these two completely blow it while displaying not an eon of chemistry? Absolutely. I get feeling like they needed to see that out, as quite frankly, they were never going to be serious with their respective partners until they got this little middle school crush itch out of their systems, but this is an excellent lesson in choices have consequences. The duo truly should have made like Luke P. and stayed in their lanes – well, upon further review, I suppose they did exactly as Luke P. and rose-podiumed their relationships into the ground. Can’t wait for the inevitable victim blame-game this toxic duo will 100% exude in their exit interviews.

Overall Grade: 20/100 (it’s what they deserve)