The Bachelor: Listen To Your Heart: Season 1, episode 4 performance grades

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ABC/John Fleenor
ABC/John Fleenor /

Jamie Gabrielle & Trevor Holmes, “Like I’m Gonna Lose You” by Meghan Trainor and John Legend

Vocal Performance: B-

If I was judging the fourth quarter of their duet performance, I’d have awarded a B+. And I feel for Jamie, truly, and have let up on my roasting as such. But her rampant stage fright is clearly not acutely surmountable, and it really begs the question of what on earth she’s doing on Listen to Your Heart. Did she think “performance” meant lip-syncing in a closet? Jamie actually sounded pretty incredible once she got into the song this week – to the point where had she come on sans crippling phobia, she could legitimately be a top contender. I was pleasantly surprised by the range she had. But it’s simply too little too late, and muuuuch too late in the game to be singing through your boyfriend’s cotton tee sleeve.

As for Trevor, I mean, he’s just not it for me. The breathy sExY end-notes are things I DO NOT LIKE. He attempted some falsettos that were A for effort, B- in execution, and has a soothing tone to his voice, but from what I’ve seen thus far, his ceiling is pretty much capped. They’ve been endearing to watch, but barring unforeseen duo disaster in the Listen To Your Heart penultimate episode, I’m sorry to say we’ll be likely watching their swan song next week.

Interpretive Routine: D

I hate to be harsh, but alas, singing is a merciless industry of which I don’t claim responsibility for apologizing on its behalf. They looked like the blown-up figures that fling around in the air at car washes, except popped and deflated. Walking down three steps is not choreography. Sparky Polastri would be HORRIFIED at their lack of spirit fingers.

~Romance~ Level: B+

I really don’t know how to rate them here, honestly? Jamie would sign a prenup tomorrow, whereas Trevor looks like a caged animal who’s beginning to assess escape routes. The scales are simply LOPSIDED beyond repair here. Honestly, it’s better for Jamie, in the long run, to come into her own instead of peeking out of Trevor’s shirt she’s climbed inside of. These two just sadly have an expiration date, and I have a feeling we’ll hear their hearts’ tragic verdicts quite soon.

Overall Grade: 65/100