The Bachelor season 24, episode 9 power rankings

And then The Bachelor left us with the final three…?

Bachelor Nation–yes, we still have three contestants remaining after last night’s dramatic episode which included the infamous Fantasy Suites. We should have been down to the final two, but alas this was not the case. It seems like the producers hate us and get sick pleasure from Bachelor Nation’s collective frustration at yet another cliffhanger. (I have no facts to back this up, but you know what I mean.)

With Hannah Ann, Victoria, and Madison playing slumber party in one hotel suite for the duration of the Fantasy Suite dates, we had a slew of half-hearted compliments between the three that Regina George would be proud of, multiple awkward conversations that consisted of more silence than words exchanged, and a lot of judgment thrown especially from Pot Calling the Kettle Black Victoria.

But who humped, I mean jumped, their way to the top?

First place in the power rankings this week goes to “Don’t Sleep with Other People Even Though That’s the Point of This Week” Madison.

Innocent Madi claimed all the screen time at both the beginning and end of the episode with her passionate concerns about intimacy thus we know she has also claimed a stronghold on Peter’s heart. (Unlike Victoria who has a stronghold on his, umm, peter.)

Our Bachelor clearly has fallen hard for the one girl who won’t give it up and even though they haven’t spent the night together, he refuses to let her go despite Madison trying to walk away from the whole thing. She is holding all the cards and we have to suck it up and wait until next Monday night to see if this story gets anywhere close to a happy ending. But it’s safe to say Pilot Pete will not let her takeoff without triple checking that she is sure of her destination.

Coming in hot for a close second place is, of course, “She Gave Him an Ultimatum” Victoria.

Having barely survived last week, Victoria was ready to lay everything out on the line in terms of her feelings for Peter and her struggles with love in previous relationships that made her the psycho she is today.

“Thinking With His Pants” Peter ate up everything “I’m the Best at Communicating” Victoria had to say before flat out lying to her face with my favorite quote of the evening: “There’s nothing you need to work on.”

I believe I was rotating disbelieving laughter and phrases in the “Are you kidding me?!” family during this entire date. But I am not a man-child looking to hook up with the hottie who will definitely slash my tires after I forget our dating anniversary like our boy Peter.

He continues to fawn over Victoria and her manipulative ways, and after spending the night together I have zero doubts that her moves in the bedroom have him even more under her love spell.

And for the second week in a row, poor, boring Hannah Ann takes the third spot in the power rankings because everything with her is simply that–boring.

She loves Peter. He is falling for her too. Woo.

They had a mediocre date filled with jet skis and a wardrobe Hannah Ann purchased from Limited Too that led to what I’m sure was an evening of cuddling and lots of missionary into the early hours of the morning. Like watching paint dry, this average pair just might go all the way and lead mediocre lives together in a post- Bachelor world.

Will Madison really give up Peter and leave the show? Will Victoria finally realize that she doesn’t love Peter and she’s just in this for the fame? And will Hannah Ann reveal any hint of a personality akin to what we saw when #ChampagneGate was happening? Tune in next week to find out!