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The Bachelorette episode 3 reaction: Crying creepers

By Laura Meinert

THE BACHELORETTE - "1503" - Eight men get the surprise of their life as husband and wife actors Jason Biggs ("American Pie" movies, "Orange Is the New Black") and Jenny Mollen (TV series "Angel" and "Crash") take them to a birthing class with hilarious results. Which one of Hannah's suitors will endure the experience of simulating childbirth? The Bachelorette gets a real-life health scare and one bachelor comes to her rescue. In return, she rewards him with a private concert by Danish pop and soul band Lukas Graham, performing their hit, "Love Someone." Hannah brings another group of men on a professional photo shoot where they are shocked to find that they are posing with professional models-who are adorable animals. The curious Bachelorette once again employs Demi to share with her what the men do when she is not around, reminiscent of the new Illumination Entertainment film from the creators of "Despicable Me," "The Secret Life of Pets 2." Will the guys pass Demi's test? And later, will one man spin out of control and out of Hannah's life? The men battle to get a rose, whatever it takes, on "The Bachelorette," MONDAY, MAY 27 (8:00-10:01 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/John Fleenor)LUKE P., HANNAH BROWN, DYLAN
THE BACHELORETTE - "1503" - Eight men get the surprise of their life as husband and wife actors Jason Biggs ("American Pie" movies, "Orange Is the New Black") and Jenny Mollen (TV series "Angel" and "Crash") take them to a birthing class with hilarious results. Which one of Hannah's suitors will endure the experience of simulating childbirth? The Bachelorette gets a real-life health scare and one bachelor comes to her rescue. In return, she rewards him with a private concert by Danish pop and soul band Lukas Graham, performing their hit, "Love Someone." Hannah brings another group of men on a professional photo shoot where they are shocked to find that they are posing with professional models-who are adorable animals. The curious Bachelorette once again employs Demi to share with her what the men do when she is not around, reminiscent of the new Illumination Entertainment film from the creators of "Despicable Me," "The Secret Life of Pets 2." Will the guys pass Demi's test? And later, will one man spin out of control and out of Hannah's life? The men battle to get a rose, whatever it takes, on "The Bachelorette," MONDAY, MAY 27 (8:00-10:01 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/John Fleenor)LUKE P., HANNAH BROWN, DYLAN /
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If you like awkward situations and overly protective dudes, then Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette was definitely for you!

From babies to tailgates to fake legs, we had a little bit of everything on this week’s episode of The Bachelorette. And, of course, we had plenty of Luke and Cam drama.

Group date #1 had our boys getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a woman in terms of the horrors of childbirth. I have to say that this trend of putting the guys into female shoes is enjoyable to watch.

Our obvious celebrity hosts of Jason Biggs and Jenny Mollen (who??) lead our gentlemen first through an anatomy birthing quiz where Cam failed miserably. No one was surprised, but it was nice to have that validation of his incompetency on display.  Next, we saw a herd of waddling bros wearing baby bellies taking hot laps around the room and discovering that, amazingly, it’s heavy carrying a literal human being inside you.

But the best part of this “fun” date was the birthing simulator, not only because it had the guys shirtless, but also because their screams of pain had everyone laughing up a storm. Tyler tried to pose like a model the whole time with a casual hand above the head and John Paul Jones about fell out of the stirrups while simultaneously crushing Hannah’s hand. Even my friend who despises this franchise, who I forced into watching this episode, was LOLing throughout this date.

The Bachelorette cocktail party had our buddy Cam back to his old tricks of trying to run the show and sabotage all the one-on-one time, which Jonathan did not appreciate to the point that he physically blocked Cam from escorting Hannah out of the room. A little aggressive, bro. Back on the couch, Cam decided to show off his displeasure by staring Jonathan down and making it awkward for everyone in the room. This stand-off did nothing for either of these two boys and Mike rightfully got the date rose.

Our lucky one-on-one date recipient was Connor, who then was not so lucky when he learned that Hannah was under the weather and wouldn’t be able to set sail on their love journey. She was hospitalized for a mystery issue which, I’m taking to mean dehydration AKA passing out from a hangover.

Connor snagged some flowers and visited our invalid in her hotel room where they cuddled up, sucked face, and we got to hear his sob story. The Bachelorette date was short lived because Hannah was a sleepy beast and needed more recovery time. Connor took this swift exit as an opportunity to leave lots of love Post-It notes all around her room for when she awoke from her slumber.

Upon his return to the mansion, God-Is-My-BFF Luke was the creepiest dude possible when he asked Connor about Hannah’s symptoms as well as what she was wearing in bed. Calm down, sir.

Connor got his redemption when a chauffer appeared and told him to get fancy and get ready for the second part of his date. He skipped away and then was rewarded with everyone’s least favorite ABC producer move: the personal concert where a fairly unknown artist gets to perform while the Bachelorette couple slow dances like junior high school kids with make-out breaks in between.

Group date #2 was a thinly veiled pitch for The Secret Life of Pets 2 during which our men got the chance to model with furry friends. The big twist, however, was that the cameras didn’t start clicking until the dudes were taunted by hot girls in the hopes that they would be shady and flirt back. Demi made another appearance to help observe these interactions but, alas, everyone was loyal to Roll Tide.

Jesus Luke once again pulled out the crazy and tried to steal all the attention ending with Hannah standing on his back mid-pushup. He does CrossFit, ok?? Then he tried to escort her a whole 50 feet into another room which had The Beast politely saying that she don’t need no man!

The stalker tendencies continued at the Bachelorette cocktail party when Luke revealed that he really doesn’t get the message/gist of this show that Hannah is dating other people by lurking around every corner and constantly interrupting all the others during their alone time. Hannah finally acknowledged this and told him multiple times to pull it together. He responded by looking like he’s ready to punch a hole in the wall and did not receive the date rose. Thank goodness.

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Our host with the most, Chris Harrison, showed up to announce that there would be no cocktail party and instead there would be a good old-fashioned tailgate. The crew cheered! Until Always Be Cutting Everyone Off Cam did just that and made his own announcement that he had something really serious to talk to Hannah about that could possibly send him home. Cue a long, completely quiet collective group pause.

True to his word, Cam snagged the Bachelorette right away and broke down about his leg surgery, with talk of amputation, and how he had to give away his rescue dog, and how he resigned from his job to be here. Ya know, like lots of these contestants have to do in order to be on the show and away from work for months straight….

I was confused and had zero sympathy, but Hannah seemed to be empathetic to the story. That is until Tattle Tale Mike showed up and broke the news that Cam was pulling for the pity rose and this was all a ploy to keep him in the game another week. The Beast didn’t take this well and grabbed the rapper immediately to call him a shady snake who she doesn’t know if she can trust. Unfortunately, she didn’t send him home at that exact moment and let him worry it out til the rose ceremony.

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We left the football scene and at the rose ceremony had a nice two for one hit when both Jonathan and Cam, who honestly thought he dodged that bullet, were sent packing for their poor behavior. This caused Cam to legit cry which was quite entertaining. More man tears, please! And Stop Talking to My Wife Luke remains for another round AKA the chance to legit start fist fights with the other bros.

The previews show much more drama to come so we’ll see you next week on The Bachelorette!

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