Episode 3 of what is sure to be the most dramatic season of The Bachelor saw our two beauty queens battling it out! At least, behind each other’s backs. . .
Two pageant queens and a bottle of rum! Tonight’s episode of The Bachelor saw a pirate themed group date (for reasons no one seems to understand) and had our ladies attempting to push each other overboard in their quest to win Colton’s heart. It did also give Colton the chance to be called “Captain” which is probably the closest he’s come to experiencing role playing. So there’s that.
First mates Hannah and Caelynn had their swords out swinging and got the drama started early as their feuding from their Miss America days made its way into what little one on one time they each had with the pirate king. Caelynn ended the cocktail party in tears despite receiving a rose, much to the dismay of Hannah who tattle-taled her frustrations out only moments before. Sadly, this would not be the end of this royal battle.
The one-on-one date this week went to the contestant I’m not ashamed to admit I have a girl crush on: Elyse. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s a fellow redhead or the fact that she’s the leader of the cougar clan.
I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s adorable and delightful and her date was super cute! Minus the concert by some B-list singer where the crowd watches our couple weirdly slow dance/make-out on a pedestal in front of the stage. Can we be done with this idea yet, please??
Group date number two had our girls sweating it out with Terry and Rebecca Crews in the Bachelor‘s Strongest Woman contest. Shirtless Colton was all the motivation the ladies needed to flip tires, push wedding cake sleds, and pull limos.
That is, it was great motivation unless you were Nicole, who couldn’t even complete a pull-up without the assistance of Catherine. I feel you, girl. TBH I think we’re all more Nicole than the beast Onyeka, who won the trophy in this challenge.
In what I would legitimately call the first surprise of the season, Colton sends Caitlin home in the midst of the group date cocktail party. Perhaps talking about partying with your friends isn’t what someone on the wife hunt wants hear? Should have pulled out the sad, sob story that made you the woman you are today, Caitlin!
After all the ups and downs of the week, Colton makes a decree that there will be no rose ceremony cocktail party and the girls are shook. Chris Harrison saves the day by announcing that instead we’re having a pool party!
More shirtless Colton?!? Put on your waterproof mascara and prepare for no one to willingly get their hair wet.
The Hannah/Caelynn back and forth steals the attention and time away from most of the other girls as we get more “she said, she said” banter. Caelynn remains upset while Hannah roars her rage out to virgin-lipped Heather.
We eventually reach the rose ceremony and Miss Alabama and Miss North Carolina get to once again share the crown as they both make it through to next week. Sadly, dog-crazy Catherine and “I’m not really Austrailian” Bri do not make the cut and I think I’ll actually miss both of them. Especially when you consider some of the alternatives.